Disloyal

 What I felt 4 months ago,

Is what you're feeling now,

Why did it took so long?

I remember,

Curling up in a ball,

Sobbing away feeling helpless,

For myself,

When I sleep I think of you,

When I wake up I still think of you,

Everything happened 4 months ago,

All the places we went to,

I was there again,

The sadness in me was real,

I was extremely heartbroken,

But now I've moved on,

I don't feel sad anymore about not being yours,

I only feel sad for allowing myself to go through it all,

What a shame,

Shame on me for allowing myself to be betrayed,

Not once, 

Not twice,

Not thrice,

Gave you many chances even after you cheated,

I was an idiot,

I was hurt,

I've never felt so heartbroken before,

Until I met you.

Now you're crying,

Crying over my shoulders,

You and your crocodile tears,

I don't feel anything anymore,

You're not relevant in my life anymore,

You just want to keep using me,

It's unfair to me,

You tell me you love me now,

But you never once mentioned it 4 months ago,

Coming to me in public sobbing away?

I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry because I'm not the same Alina you've known..

I'm not the Alina that sympathizes you for your cunning behavior,

I loved you, 

So very much I won't deny that,

But I'll always remember those hurtful words you said to me when I was begging you to stay with me.

I lied to others about us just because I loved you so much,

I sacrificed my time, energy and effort so much for you, 

I gave you me.

God gave you me,

But you refuse to appreciate me for who I am,

Keep using your family as your excuse,

Stay with your family,

Get arranged married with your own family,

She'll stay home with the rest of your family becoming your maid,

She will clean, cook, serve guests and go to sleep,

That's what you deserve,

You do not deserve me,

Be just the rest of your brothers,

Married but still breaking other women's heart,

Married but not happy,

I've told you, I could be the change for you.

But you wanted me to change 180 degrees,

You want me to stop doing my art, 

You want me to start wearing hijab ,

To be a good wife,

If you stay disloyal, 

Then you're really gonna face the consequences put